To Ourselves vs. For Ourselves – Which is Correct?
Both to ourselves and for ourselves are correct, but they have different meanings. Use to ourselves when the action returns to the group; use for ourselves when the group benefits or acts on its own behalf. In short, to emphasizes reflexive action, whereas for emphasizes benefit, purpose, or representation instead.
To Ourselves or For Ourselves – Which Is Correct?
To ourselves and for ourselves are both valid English phrases. The prepositions to and for create the difference in meaning.
Use to ourselves when something is directed, spoken, or kept inwardly by the same people who perform the action. For example, if a group talks quietly without including anyone else, the members are speaking to themselves or to one another.
Use for ourselves when something is done for the group’s own benefit, independently, or without relying on another person. For example, if a group chooses its own destination, it may decide for itself; if several people do so, they decide for themselves.
The Best Trick to Remember the Difference
Use the direction-versus-benefit test. Ask whether the action is directed back toward the people involved. If yes, choose to ourselves. Ask whether the people involved receive the benefit, choose independently, or represent their own interests. If yes, choose for ourselves.
Compare these examples:
- We whispered to ourselves. The whispering was directed inward or kept private.
- We bought tickets for ourselves. The tickets were purchased for our own benefit.
| Word | Part of Speech | Meaning | Example |
|---|---|---|---|
| to ourselves | Prepositional phrase | Directed back toward us; privately or inwardly | We kept the surprising news to ourselves. |
| for ourselves | Prepositional phrase | For our own benefit, purpose, or independent action | We prepared dinner for ourselves. |
How to Use To Ourselves
To ourselves is used when an action, thought, message, or possession is directed back toward the speaker and another person or group represented by we. It often appears with verbs such as say, keep, whisper, talk, and repeat.
This phrase can describe private behavior, internal speech, or something deliberately withheld from other people. Its tone is neutral and natural in both casual and formal English.
Example 1: We promised to keep the information to ourselves.
Example 2: During the difficult exam, we repeated the instructions to ourselves.
Example 3: We sometimes talk to ourselves when solving a complicated problem.
Etymology of the Phrase To Ourselves
The phrase combines the preposition to with the reflexive pronoun ourselves. The preposition to developed from Old English forms expressing movement, direction, or relationship. Ourselves combines our, the possessive form related to we, with selves, the plural form of self. Together, the phrase conveys direction or reference back to the group.
How to Use For Ourselves
For ourselves is used when an action is performed for the group’s own advantage, needs, goals, or interests. It can also mean acting independently rather than allowing another person to decide or act on the group’s behalf.
The phrase commonly follows verbs such as buy, make, choose, decide, work, build, and reserve. It may also describe personal responsibility, as in we must think for ourselves.
Example 1: We saved enough money to buy a new computer for ourselves.
Example 2: We should examine the evidence and decide for ourselves.
Example 3: Instead of waiting for assistance, we created a solution for ourselves.
Etymology of the Phrase For Ourselves
The phrase combines the preposition for with the reflexive pronoun ourselves. For comes from an Old English preposition associated with purpose, benefit, support, or representation. Ourselves refers back to the group represented by we. Together, the phrase expresses benefit, purpose, or independent action involving the group.
Related Concepts
Understanding reflexive pronouns and prepositions makes the difference between these phrases much easier to recognize.
- Reflexive pronouns: Words such as myself, yourself, ourselves, and themselves refer back to the subject of a sentence or emphasize the subject.
- Prepositions: Words such as to and for show relationships between words. To often indicates direction or a recipient, while for often indicates benefit, purpose, or intended use.
- Reflexive action: An action is reflexive when the subject and the receiver of the action are the same, as in We introduced ourselves.
- Independent decision-making: The expression decide for ourselves emphasizes forming a judgment without allowing someone else to make the decision.
Examples from Media and Literature
Writers and speakers use both phrases to distinguish private thought from personal benefit or independence.
- Personal reflection in novels: A narrator may describe characters speaking to themselves when showing an internal debate or private realization.
- Adventure and survival stories: Characters may say that they must build a shelter for themselves when they need to meet their own needs without outside help.
- Historical nonfiction: Discussions of political or social independence often use phrases such as decide for ourselves to express self-government.
- Film dialogue: A character may tell a companion, “We need to keep this to ourselves,” when the information should remain confidential.
- News writing: Articles about consumer choices may explain that people are purchasing products for themselves, while opinion pieces may encourage readers to think for themselves.
Practice Exercises
Choose to ourselves or for ourselves to complete each sentence.
- We decided to keep the surprise ______.
- After reviewing the proposals, we chose ______.
- We quietly repeated the directions ______.
- We made sandwiches ______ before the hike.
- We should not let others make every important decision ______.
Answer Key
- to ourselves
- for ourselves
- to ourselves
- for ourselves
- for ourselves
To Ourselves Synonyms
| Synonym | Definition |
|---|---|
| privately | Without sharing something with other people |
| inwardly | Toward one’s own thoughts or feelings |
| silently | Without speaking aloud |
| among ourselves | Within the group and not with outsiders |
For Ourselves Synonyms
| Synonym | Definition |
|---|---|
| for our own benefit | In a way that helps or advantages us |
| independently | Without depending on another person or authority |
| on our own | Without assistance from others |
| for our own purposes | To achieve goals belonging to us |
Frequently Asked Questions
Question 1: Is “to ourselves” correct?
Yes. To ourselves is correct when something is directed inward, kept private, or spoken or communicated within the group. For example, “We kept the details to ourselves.”
Question 2: Is “for ourselves” correct?
Yes. For ourselves is correct when something is done for the group’s benefit, purpose, or independent decision. For example, “We chose the restaurant for ourselves.”
Question 3: What is the difference between “keep to ourselves” and “do for ourselves”?
Keep to ourselves means remain private, quiet, or separate from others. Do for ourselves means complete an action independently or for our own benefit.
Conclusion
To ourselves and for ourselves are both correct, but they are not interchangeable. Choose to ourselves for inward direction, privacy, or communication within the group. Choose for ourselves for personal benefit, purpose, or independent action. Pro Tip: Using the correct preposition in professional writing demonstrates precision and strengthens your credibility.
