Them vs. Themselves – Which is Correct?
The correct choice depends on grammar: use them as an object pronoun, and use themselves when the people referred to are also the object or when emphasizing their independent action. For example, “I invited them,” but “They prepared themselves.” Both words are correct, but they are not interchangeable in context.
Them or Themselves – Which is Correct?
Them and themselves are both correct words, but they perform different grammatical jobs. Them is an object pronoun that refers to two or more people, animals, or things. Themselves is a reflexive or emphatic pronoun used when the subject and object refer to the same people or things, or when you want to emphasize who performed an action.
Use them after a verb or preposition when the action affects another person, animal, or thing. Use themselves when the subjects act on their own bodies, group, or identity.
- Object pronoun: The teacher praised them.
- Reflexive pronoun: The students praised themselves.
- Emphatic pronoun: The students themselves organized the event.
The Best Trick to Remember the Difference
Use the “same people” test. Ask whether the people receiving the action are the same people who perform it. If they are different, use them: “I helped them.” If they are the same, use themselves: “They helped themselves.”
You can also remember that themselves contains self. That part signals that the action comes back to the subject. The phrase “by themselves” usually means “alone” or “without assistance.”
| Word | Part of Speech | Meaning | Example |
|---|---|---|---|
| them | Object pronoun | Refers to people, animals, or things receiving an action | We invited them to dinner. |
| themselves | Reflexive or emphatic pronoun | Refers back to a plural subject or adds emphasis | They built the shed themselves. |
How to Use Them
Them is the objective form of the third-person plural pronoun they. Use it as the direct object or indirect object of a verb, or after a preposition. It generally refers to more than one person, animal, or thing, although them is also widely used with singular, gender-neutral they.
Them is common in both formal and casual English. In traditional grammar, it follows an action directed toward another person or thing. It can also appear after prepositions such as to, for, with, about, and between.
Example 1: The manager thanked them for completing the project.
Example 2: Please send the documents to them.
Example 3: I spoke with the new employee, and I told them about the schedule.
What are the different forms of Them?
Them does not change for tense, number, or comparison. It is one form in the pronoun system associated with they. The related forms are they for the subject, them for the object, their and theirs for possession, and themselves for reflexive or emphatic use.
For example, compare these functions: “They called them about their order,” and “They completed the task themselves.” In singular, gender-neutral usage, the same set of forms can refer to one person: “The applicant said they would contact themself” is less widely accepted than “The applicant said they would contact themselves.”
Etymology of the word Them
Them comes from Old Norse þeim, meaning “to them” or “them.” It entered Middle English through Scandinavian influence and gradually replaced earlier English object forms. The word has remained the standard plural object form of they for centuries.
How to Use Themselves
Themselves is a plural reflexive pronoun. Use it when the subject and the object of a sentence refer to the same people, animals, or things. For example, in “The children dressed themselves,” the children perform the action and receive it.
Themselves can also be emphatic. In that use, it highlights the subject rather than serving as a necessary object: “The designers themselves approved the final layout.” It also appears in the phrase by themselves, which can mean “alone,” “without help,” or “independently.”
In contemporary English, themselves is also commonly used with singular, gender-neutral they. For example, “Someone left their coat, but they came back for it themselves” is standard in many varieties of English.
Example 1: The volunteers organized themselves into three teams.
Example 2: The authors themselves attended the discussion.
Example 3: The children completed the science experiment by themselves.
What are the different forms of Themselves?
Themselves has no tense, comparative, or superlative forms. It is the reflexive and emphatic form associated with plural they. The corresponding forms are they as a subject, them as an object, their and theirs as possessive forms, and themselves as a reflexive or emphatic form.
The word normally follows a plural subject: “They blamed themselves.” It may also follow a singular, gender-neutral they: “The guest introduced themselves.” In careful writing, the intended meaning and the surrounding context determine whether themselves refers to multiple people or to one person using singular they.
Etymology of the word Themselves
Themselves combines the object pronoun them with self and the plural ending -selves. Old and Middle English used related combinations to express self-directed actions. Over time, themselves became the established reflexive form corresponding to they.
Related Concepts
Understanding object pronouns and reflexive pronouns makes the difference between them and themselves much easier to recognize.
- Object pronouns: Object pronouns receive the action of a verb or follow a preposition. Examples include me, you, him, her, it, us, and them.
- Reflexive pronouns: Reflexive pronouns refer back to the subject of a clause. Examples include myself, yourself, himself, herself, itself, ourselves, and themselves.
- Emphatic pronouns: An emphatic pronoun stresses who performed an action. In “The researchers themselves checked the results,” themselves adds emphasis and is not required for basic grammar.
- Singular they: Singular they refers to one person when gender is unknown, irrelevant, or nonbinary. Its object form is them, and its reflexive form is commonly themselves.
Examples from Media and Literature
The distinction between these words appears in ordinary dialogue, journalism, fiction, and formal writing. The following examples illustrate the grammatical patterns rather than presenting quotations from the works listed.
- In a novel: A narrator may write, “The travelers saw the villagers and followed them,” because the villagers receive the action of following.
- In a film: A character might say, “The team repaired the vehicle themselves,” emphasizing that the team worked without outside assistance.
- In a news report: A journalist may write, “Officials asked them to leave the area,” using them as the object of asked.
- In a biography: A writer may say, “The activists themselves organized the campaign,” using themselves for emphasis.
- In everyday dialogue: Someone may say, “I sent them the address, but they found the location themselves,” showing both words in one context.
Practice Exercises
Choose the correct word to complete each sentence.
- The coach congratulated ______ after the difficult match. (them / themselves)
- The musicians tuned their instruments by ______. (them / themselves)
- I gave ______ directions to the station. (them / themselves)
- The researchers ______ presented the findings. (them / themselves)
- The children taught ______ how to play the game. (them / themselves)
Answer Key
- them — The coach and the players are different groups in the sentence.
- themselves — The musicians tuned their own instruments.
- them — The people receiving the directions are the object of gave.
- themselves — The word emphasizes that the researchers presented the findings personally.
- themselves — The children taught their own group how to play.
Them Synonyms
| Synonym | Definition |
|---|---|
| those people | A descriptive alternative when them refers to people already identified |
| those individuals | A more formal phrase referring to specific people |
| those things | A phrase used when them refers to objects or abstract ideas |
| the group | A singular collective replacement when the context clearly identifies a group |
Themselves Synonyms
| Synonym | Definition |
|---|---|
| on their own | Without assistance from another person |
| independently | Without relying on outside help |
| personally | Used to emphasize that the people in question performed the action |
| without help | A phrase that expresses the independent meaning of by themselves |
Frequently Asked Questions
Question 1: Is “them” or “themselves” correct?
Both are correct, but they have different functions. Use them as an object pronoun, and use themselves when the pronoun refers back to the subject or emphasizes who performed an action.
Question 2: Can I say “I told themselves”?
No. The standard sentence is “I told them.” The subject I and the object are different, so a reflexive pronoun is not appropriate. Use “They told themselves” only when they are both performing and receiving the action.
Question 3: Is “by themselves” the same as “by them”?
No. By themselves usually means alone or without assistance, as in “They completed the project by themselves.” By them identifies the people responsible for an action, as in “The project was completed by them.”
Question 4: Can “themselves” refer to one person?
Yes. In contemporary English, themselves is commonly used with singular, gender-neutral they: “If anyone calls, tell them to identify themselves.”
Conclusion
Them and themselves are both correct, but they cannot usually replace each other. Choose them for an ordinary object and themselves when the action returns to the subject, means “alone,” or needs emphasis. Pro Tip: Using the correct pronoun in professional writing improves clarity and protects your credibility.
