Him or Herself vs. Himself or Herself – Which is Correct?
“Him or herself” is an understandable traditional phrase for referring back to one person when gender is unknown or unspecified. It is not a misspelling, but it is often less natural than “himself or herself” or singular “themselves.” Choose the alternative that best matches your audience, tone, and inclusivity goals.
“Him or Herself” — Which Is Correct?
“Him or herself” is understandable and used in traditional gender-inclusive writing, but “himself or herself” is usually the more grammatically parallel form. The phrase combines the object pronoun him with the reflexive pronoun herself. Because himself and herself are both reflexive pronouns, many editors prefer “himself or herself.”
In contemporary English, singular they and themselves are often smoother alternatives when a person’s gender is unknown, irrelevant, or intentionally left unspecified. For example, instead of writing “Every applicant should ask him or herself,” you could write “Every applicant should ask themselves.”
The Best Trick to Remember the Difference
Use the parallel pronoun test: if one option is himself, the matching feminine option is herself. Both words should have the same grammatical form, so “himself or herself” is more balanced than “him or herself.” If you want a concise, modern alternative, replace both with singular themselves.
For a broader look at object and reflexive pronoun choices, compare Him and I vs. Him and Myself.
| Word or Phrase | Part of Speech | Meaning | Example |
|---|---|---|---|
| him or herself | Coordinated pronoun phrase | Refers back to one person whose gender may be male or female | The participant may introduce him or herself. |
| himself or herself | Coordinated reflexive pronoun phrase | A parallel, traditional alternative | Each person should prepare himself or herself. |
| themselves | Singular or plural reflexive pronoun | Refers back to a person or people without specifying gender | Each applicant should prepare themselves. |
How to Use “Him or Herself”
“Him or herself” is used when a writer wants to refer to a single person without knowing whether that person is male or female. It commonly follows verbs or prepositions in sentences such as “The candidate should introduce him or herself” or “The customer can decide for him or herself.”
Although the phrase is widely understandable, it can sound formal, wordy, or slightly awkward. It also presents gender as limited to two choices. In professional, academic, and public-facing writing, “themselves” is frequently more concise and inclusive. If you specifically need to mention both traditional gendered possibilities, “himself or herself” is generally the better-formed choice.
Example 1: The new employee may introduce him or herself to the team.
Example 2: Every reader can decide for him or herself whether the argument is convincing.
Example 3: A participant should ask him or herself whether the response is appropriate.
Etymology of the Phrase “Him or Herself”
The phrase combines three older English pronoun forms. Him developed from Old English forms used for a masculine object, while her and herself developed from feminine pronouns and the noun self. The coordinated construction became common as writers attempted to avoid using only a masculine pronoun for a person of unknown gender.
Modern usage has increasingly favored singular they because it avoids a long compound phrase and does not assume a male-or-female choice. “Him or herself” remains recognizable, but its suitability depends on the publication’s style guide and the intended audience.
Related Concepts
Understanding reflexive pronouns, grammatical agreement, and singular they makes it easier to choose the most natural alternative to “him or herself.”
- Reflexive pronouns: Words such as himself, herself, and themselves refer back to the subject or another person already identified in the sentence.
- Pronoun agreement: A pronoun should generally agree with its antecedent in number and, where relevant, person and gender. “Himself or herself” uses parallel reflexive forms.
- Singular they: Singular they refers to one person whose gender is unknown, irrelevant, or nonbinary. Its reflexive form is usually themselves.
- Inclusive language: Inclusive wording avoids unnecessarily excluding people or suggesting that only two gender identities are possible.
Examples from Media and Literature
The following examples reflect common patterns found in journalism, fiction, workplace communication, and educational writing. They are illustrative examples rather than quotations from particular publications.
- News writing: “A spokesperson said that each resident could represent him or herself at the hearing.” This formal construction may appear when an organization follows traditional pronoun conventions.
- Workplace guidance: “Every employee should ask him or herself whether the policy has been followed.” A modern editor would often revise this to “Every employee should ask themselves.”
- Fictional dialogue: “A person has to decide for him or herself,” the character said. The phrase can help preserve a formal or old-fashioned voice.
- Academic prose: “The researcher must determine whether the subject can speak for him or herself.” “Himself or herself” or “themselves” may provide a smoother revision.
- Public instructions: “Each visitor should make him or herself comfortable.” A concise inclusive revision is “Each visitor should make themselves comfortable.”
“Him or Herself” Synonyms
| Synonym | Definition |
|---|---|
| himself or herself | A traditional, grammatically parallel alternative that explicitly mentions both gendered options. |
| themselves | A concise, gender-neutral reflexive pronoun used with singular or plural antecedents. |
| on their own | A natural gender-neutral phrase meaning independently or without assistance. |
| personally | An adverb that can replace a reflexive phrase in some contexts, especially when emphasizing individual involvement. |
| the individual | A noun phrase that avoids using a gendered pronoun, although it may sound more formal. |
Frequently Asked Questions
Is “him or herself” grammatically correct?
It is understandable and commonly used, but it is not as parallel as “himself or herself.” In many contexts, “themselves” is more natural and inclusive.
Should I write “him or herself” or “himself or herself”?
Choose “himself or herself” when you want to name both traditional gendered possibilities. The two elements are both reflexive pronouns, so the construction is grammatically balanced.
Is “themselves” acceptable for one person?
Yes. Singular they and themselves are established in standard English for referring to one person whose gender is unknown, unspecified, or nonbinary.
Is “him or herself” inclusive language?
It attempts to be inclusive by mentioning masculine and feminine possibilities, but it can still imply that gender is strictly binary. “Themselves” is usually more broadly inclusive.
What is the most concise alternative to “him or herself”?
In most modern contexts, the best concise alternative is themselves. For example, “Each applicant should introduce themselves” is smoother than “Each applicant should introduce him or herself.”
Conclusion
“Him or herself” is not a spelling mistake, but it is often less polished than “himself or herself” and less inclusive than singular “themselves.” Use “himself or herself” when explicitly presenting two traditional gendered options, or choose “themselves” for concise, gender-neutral writing. Pro Tip: In professional communication, prefer the form that is grammatically clear, current, and appropriate for the people you are addressing.
